A survey of church attendees revealed that at least 75% of those attending, shared that they couldn’t remember much of the message. They walked in with burdens and hurts; they were so focused on their pain, guilt, depression, or concerns that they couldn’t focus on anything else.
In another survey, those attending church were
asked how they felt when someone greeted them and sincerely asked how they were. They said that they felt more than 50% better just because someone took the time to care.
For those who have experienced rejection and hurt, being in new environments can be overwhelming (esp. crowds of any size). It’s terrifying for them to open themselves up to the possibility of being ignored or unaccepted. Many people are in church because they know they want/need to be there deep inside, but we also hear many stories of people who don’t like church because of the way they were treated or not even noticed.
Many who step into church are experiencing great pain and heartache (if you are, don’t tell someone you are “fine” if you are not ;o). Some are going through what are the consequences of poor life choices and sins they are stuck in; they need help (non-judgmental) getting out. They have stepped into the right place for help because we can lead them to the One Who can heal, forgive, help, and bring new life. We can help them know His Truth (speak Scripture), and be set free. “So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, ‘If you continue in My word, then you are truly My disciples; and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” John 8:31-32
Recently JeJe continued a long time conversation with a man our family knows. The man has tried going to church (more than once), but because of his tattoos on his neck and arms ladies in a local church moved away from sitting by him, others shunned him. He shares that He believes in God, loves God, and watches every video JeJe makes (anticipating the next). But he does not want to attend church and open himself up for rejection again. Truly heart breaking.
I often forget how powerful kind words can be to a hurting soul….Yet from my own experiences know how precious and soothing they are. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24
Just to stop and let someone know “I see you,” “I care about you,” “Is there something I can help you with today,” or “I am so glad you are here today.”
Often, us regular attendees get caught up in our special groups – and that’s okay to fellowship and have a great time in the Lord – but we must purpose in our hearts to pull those on the fringes in. That’s the heart of Jesus. That’s the Jesus that went to Zacheus’ house, that went out of His way to reach the Samaritan Woman at the Well, that stood in the street defending the woman caught in adultery without judgment or prejudice (“who is able to throw the first stone?”).
The enemy can take a person’s hurt and build spiritual strongholds. He is the master deceiver, liar, and manipulator. And his greatest work can be done in our hurts and fears (minds and emotions). The only successful way to battle a lie, is with the Truth – Jesus. When we share the Truths of God’s Word with someone, it is a counter attack to the lies of the enemy. As victims of hurts and pains and makers of grave mistakes, we need to memorize key Scripture to battle the lies. We need to hold every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), asking Jesus to speak His truth to our hearts and minds. And the result will be nothing other than a victorious life.
God created us for fellowship with Him and others. He doesn’t want us to go it alone (see Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). He knows that we need to help one another, and we need to ask for help too.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Maybe you feel ill equipped? Jesus doesn’t call the perfect. He calls the willing/available. Just look at the Sons of Thunder (James and John) and Peter – the guy who cut the ear off of the centurion. We lean into the Holy Spirit for strength and wisdom. The more we allow the experiences and pressures of life to force us to press into Him, the more we become like Him.
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-12
In closing, I share this fun story with you: The Jejeran’s are often “strangers,” stepping into many new church environments to serve, share, speak, etc. People don’t know us, but it’s important for us to minister to them, to be open/ready to be humbly used by Jesus in these environments, to be the aroma of Christ wherever we go (Ephesians 5:2). It can be a challenge for me at times, as the enemy whispers lies of rejection and I often want to “retreat” or hide in a corner. But, I have to be prepared with God’s Truths to counter those lies; memorize Scripture about how I am “beloved,” “accepted,” and of value to Jesus (He left Heaven and died for me). God brings victory every time I walk in His Truth.
My husband, however, is different. He is especially sensitive to individuals in crowds who are maybe alone or hanging out on the fringe. He has a HUGE heart for the lost and the hurting because he wants them to experience fullness of life in Christ Jesus. He is patient and without prejudice (that’s probably why we are still married ;o).
On one occasion, he was asked to teach at the men’s breakfast at our home church. People there don’t see us regularly and many don’t know us if they saw us (we are nobody’s for Jesus) – totally normal and understandable. The leaders at the event were busy serving and ministering to others. My husband grabbed his breakfast plate, walked into the church café, and found where he wanted to sit – by the guy eating alone in the far, back corner of the room. He asked permission to join the man, who readily complied. They enjoyed nice fellowship as they ate together, and it was nearing time for JeJe to teach so he excused himself. The man was surprised to find that JeJe was the main speaker that morning, yet had taken the time to sit and visit with him. Before JeJe left the table, the man asked JeJe, “Do you like hockey?” To which JeJe smiled and replied, “Not really, but my wife sure does.” The man blessed us with 4 tickets to the Playoff game for the Anaheim Ducks (I’m a Kings fan but was happy to cheer for Nashville :0). The next day, we drive to the Honda Center and discover we have parking next to the entrance door because our seats are center of the Executive Club level, AND we each have cash value towards the purchase of food and snacks. What ?!?!?! I love how God gives us these great “God stories” – we have many, many, many amazing ones over the past 25+ years.
“We love, because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 Not because He might bless us with hockey tickets (although they were pretty cool), but because we want to honor Him with our good works by living in obedience to Him. Matthew 5:14-16 tells us, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Your light must shine before people in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”
